Child inclusive mediation — what is it and can it work for your family?

While the courts can always make a determination on childcare arrangements, most of us would prefer to have more control over what ultimately happens, even if we’re struggling to reach agreement with an ex.

Often, that's where mediation can help. Using this process, parents often find it easier to discuss and agree plans for the future working with a mediator in a neutral, safe environment.

But what if they can’t agree what’s best for the child?

Child Inclusive Mediation

There’s also the option of what’s called Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM). This is a particular type of mediation where the child is involved in the process and can give their views.

Of course, it won’t be appropriate in every case: the mediator has to be sure the parents are prepared to listen to their child and not put them under pressure when they share their concerns.

Both parents need to accept —

• The child shouldn’t be manoeuvred or pressured into expressing a preference for one parent’s preferred option

• That the child’s views are confidential

• The child perhaps won’t want to share any feedback

CIM mediators

CIM mediators are specially trained to ensure the parents understand, respect and adhere to all of this, and more.

There’s a specific process everyone has to follow so everyone, particularly the young person, is protected.

The child’s involvement is voluntary and the mediator has to explain to them clearly why they’re involved as well as make sure they understand the concept of confidentiality.

If they do want to take part, the mediator will meet with them on their own — or with any siblings if they prefer — and they’ll need the child’s permission to share views and concerns with the parents.

If permission is given, the mediator will meet with the adults and share this feedback so the parents can consider this perspective when they’re discussing future arrangements.

Benefits of CIM

Although a couple might have separated, they will always be parents to their child and they continue to share the responsibility to do what’s in their child’s best interests.

It’s not unusual for children to feel their feelings aren’t taken into account throughout the separation and divorce process as major decisions are made.

Using CIM can help minimise this and often help families go some way to improve relationships between one another and ensure future communication is more constructive and child-focused.

Unlike court proceedings, which can take weeks to address childcare issues, CIM sessions can be arranged promptly within a timescale which is suitable for the parents and their child.

FAQs

Can CIM reduce negotiation time?

Yes, it can.

If you’re resolving childcare arrangements through the court process, the earliest a Child Welfare Hearing will typically be scheduled is six weeks after an action is initiated, unless emergency grounds warrant an earlier meeting.

In contrast, CIM sessions are arranged in a timescale that suits the parents and their child or children.

Is there a minimum age for children to be involved?

Not specifically, but both parents have to agree to the child’s involvement — it will depend on the young person’s maturity.

In the court process, children can have their views taken from the age of five.

How long does the process take?

It really does depend — not least on the circumstances and the availability of those involved. It usually involves a six stage process which allows the mediator to ascertain whether CIM is right for that family through meetings with both the parents and the child.

Is it a relatively new type of mediation?

In Scotland, yes.

CIM has been used in England for a number of years, and is standard practice as a direct alternative to court in many other jurisdictions worldwide. I’m one of only around 14 in Scotland to be a qualified CIM lawyer through CALM Scotland — a group of solicitor mediators accredited by Law Society of Scotland.

If you think that CIM can help your family, please do get in touch. You can also read more commentary from the family law team in our news and views page.